Missing Now

So when you find yourself becoming anxious about the “defining moment”, and how your Now moments will culminate, consider the lessons that you are learning, and need to learn, in the process.
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In addition to being a wife and mother, one of the things that I pride myself on is building a legacy for my children, one built on a solid partnership with my husband.  We do our best to regularly discuss our mutual and individual goals, purpose, and our respective trajectories on various components of our lives.  In our most recent powwow, I shared with him that while I felt good about the broader portfolio of writing that I had been developing, I was also anxious about what is to come, and what will transpire between now and then – when that elusive “defining moment” unveils itself.

This discussion gave way to the whole concept of “Now”, and begged the question of whether I was truly living in the Now.  I’m sure many of you have heard a lot about the “fierce urgency of now”, and its characterization in speeches by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and later, President Barack Obama.  Then, there’s also  The Power of Now , by Eckhart Tolle (by the way, I have not read the book, though it is part of our home library).  My insight on this subject, however, takes on a less political, but definitely more personal meaning as I contextualize it against the backdrop of my life anxieties.

So many times, we become consumed by our own angst, which occurs as a result of our preoccupation about what’s to come – the future, the what-ifs.  As such, our success and happiness are hinged in the conditional.  The attainment of our deepest desires becomes dependent on a condition.  If we could only lose ten pounds, get our hands on more money, find the right mate, were there instead of here, had that job instead of this one, if only we had more time, if only we got published :o, then, and only then would we realize true happiness.  Inarguably, we could all use more time and resources (financial or otherwise) to iron out the kinks, to improve and implement our plans, but we actually lose time when our minds overlook the Now. Moreover, we miss the beauty around us as well as the opportunity to create meaning.

While it is important to plan, and to work toward a certain goal, we must develop a deeper understanding of how our Now moments fit into the larger plan.  A series of Now events must take place along the journey before we can proceed to the next level.  Furthermore, the cultivation of, and engagement in, these moments as well as the required stillness will surely prepare us for more, for greater, for the destinations that lie further ahead.  Too much anxiety about what’s to come only heightens our sense of paranoia, resulting in fitful nights of sleep, thereby causing an unshakeable anxiety which ultimately renders us unable to move forward anyway.

So when you find yourself becoming anxious about the “defining moment”, and how your Now moments will culminate, consider the lessons that you are learning, and need to learn, in the process. What you take away from them may very well define how you will handle what you call success.  Appreciate how this Now moment is preparing you for what’s to come.   Being in the Now teaches us some important lessons, including not taking our success for granted, humility, and patience.  Also, it quietly affords us the reflection that we may not have when the rapid pace of success takes off!   Now you know what I know: Now is a very necessary path in the greater unfolding of our ultimate dreams, hopes, and visions.

Now is fleeting, so hurry…you don’t want to miss it!

 

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3 thoughts on “Missing Now

  1. I can definitely see what you’re saying. It’s great that you can see the value of appreciating the present. It’s amazing how many of us have the ability and the means to take the moments, ponder the lessons, and smell the roses so to speak, but don’t, or won’t.

    Sometimes, though, what keeps us focused on the future isn’t a decision we make to actively discount the value of the now. For many, the personal viewpoint you speak of here is actually overtaken by the political. Sometimes the Now issues are actually the things that bring the anxiety, and focusing on them is important to surmounting them and reaching that future place where you hope you’ll be able to take the those moments to ponder the road so far, and smell the roses alongside it.

    For instance, going alone through the labyrinths and gigantic hoops of today’s job market can be awful for those with unemployment insurance, but if you don’t qualify for that, and you have no sales skills (which seem to be necessary for every job opening these days) it’s much harder to consider that anything is really good in the now, or to see anything that you do as being successful. Even though you know that you are alive and there’s still air to breathe, flowers coming in the spring, and abilities you have that you take pride in, our society is always there to tell you that if you can’t pay your bills, your Now isn’t good enough and you and your abilities don’t really matter.

    There’s a question I ran into on a website recently, which asked if I was more concerned these days about economic issues or social issues. I said that economic issues ARE social issues. And they will stay the same issue as long as, for some, a thing as simple and life affirming as considering one’s own emotional needs and how one wants to create meaning in their life, remains a luxury.

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    1. Buenos dias, mi amiga! I feel you totally! Economic issues are social issues. They’re inextricably linked, as financial freedom can affect our ability to navigate socially, to move ahead, toward that place of authenticity where we are free from worry, and the anxiety that comes from not having enough to even get by . Not having to worry about things like employment, healthcare, or paying our bills allows us to “free up” and pause to smell the roses. We can see our way clear when that’s the reality…at least we should, right? Well, only sometimes. Even in the absence of economic hardship, some of us preoccupy ourselves with how exactly our future will unfold. While I don’t think that we “choose” to discount the Now, but rather, we choose to give the future more life, more credibility, and as such, we miss the epiphanies and revelations that may result in the stillness that’s required in the Now.

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