Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have a confession to make: I’ve been eating way too much chocolate. Sometimes a fun-size or bite-size chocolate will do, but this indulgence is on a whole different level, Lord. The sad truth is that there is nothing fun about having cheap chocolate! These “over-the-counter” versions only lure me in, tease me, and leave me still wanting more…of the really good stuff. Hershey, Whitman’s chocolate and Russell Stover seem so anticlimactic when what I really crave is Fannie May or Godiva. And for some reason, the only words I can discern when these cravings hit are “Go get Go Diva girl!”:-
Just when I thought I kicked the chocolate crave, and reined in my willpower to stay the course, my husband walks in with these bite-sized pretzel pieces. Well, I’ll be damned!! He bought bread! Pardon me, but bread is the last thing I need, especially not the white-flour Auntie Anne’s variety. Perfectly salted and buttered, these little dough balls look like fried dumplings and seem to call out to me in first soprano: “Eat me! Eat me!” Daggone it! I start feeling guilty because I really don’t see how I’m going to resist this one. Not this time. My hormones are all over the place, and I really don’t see me going to bed without partaking, even if only just one. Forgive me! These are bite-sized pretzels, right? Bread is my kryptonite. It undoes me as it makes its quick and direct descent to my hips! And this is all before my son’s birthday party, where I’m presented with my next deadliest form of Bread…Birthday cake! What is a girl to do, Lord?
To make matters worse, and for reasons that I won’t explain here I need forgiveness as I’ve taken a brief imposed hiatus from exercise. This is problematic, as exercise fuels me like nothing else. It is an integral part of my daily living and provides me with the ultimate endorphin release like no synthetic drug can. As I achieve fitness gains, I get stronger both mentally and physically. Even on my worst day, I’m ready to kick anyone’s badonkadonk after a good workout, so if someone is going to bring the funk, it better be their ”A” game, baby! Another great benefit of exercise is that it keeps my metabolism in check, making indulgences for chocolate and bread fewer and farther between. So imagine what I feel like when I’m forced to sit on the sidelines eating Kit Kat, Twix and Wetzels Wonderful Hot Soft Pretzels dipped in hot melted butter! Things can get a bit off-kilter, to say the least.
The bread, chocolate, and cake are meant to comfort me, as well as balance what I think are erratic serotonin levels, but too much of the sweet sensations leave me in a quandary about whether I needed them in the first place. Maybe I didn’t need any of these things; not the bread, chocolate or birthday cake. Perhaps what I needed to do was dance to some Rihanna, read a few pages of Toni, or pick up the phone and comfort a friend for a few minutes. Or I could just simply…write.
Forget about it, I think what I’ll have is a good glass of wine. Scratch that! I’m going to have a glass of Six Grapes Port, the really good stuff. And darn that, I’ll have it with piece of cake…make that chocolate cake. Hallelujah, and thank you Jesus! That’s Communion.