How Dare you Say Goodbye

I sit here grieving you again.

Moments of clarity and rational thought come
But are soon stymied by your unsolicited surprise visits.

Reminders of you abound wherever I go.
The mention of your name,
Reflection on a memory,
Leaves a pit in my chest every single time.

Who are you to figure so prominently in my mind, and
What does your power to do so suggest?

Why have you come back to haunt my thoughts, and
Find new territory in my landscape?

Hours go by and I think not about  you…yet
You return, darting in and out of my field of vision,
like a child trying to get away with a forbidden act this one last time.

You skirt the borders of my most empowering moments -
the ones in which I rationalize our breakup, and
perch yourself all poised-like on the ledges of the windows -
the ones through which I thought I could envision life without you.

Refusing to let me let you go,
Unforgiving and relentless in your total pursuit of me.

I am afraid…
Afraid that should I return to you, you will be no good for me.
Afraid that perhaps,
I fell too hard,
Loved too big,
Grew too joyful,
Or worse yet, made myself at home.

The teardrops are many,
Ridiculously heavy, even…
As I try to make peace of our sudden rupture.

They burn,
Leaving stains
In places that I suppose can only be refreshed by time…I suppose.

“My Funny Valentine” Love

A longing that only a heart can describe
(Still I’ll try)

The lilt of your voice
And curves of your laughter
Just whets my appetite.

You caress my cornerstones
Of tenderness, of wanting…
Your words splash over me again
Like water against the mountain.

The stretches leave me thirsty,
Temperamental, swooning for your return.
I know it won’t be much longer
Before I can feel the end of yearn.

Still, I thirst for your outpouring,
Which comforts me once more,
It washes over me again,
Penetrating to the core.

Yes, the sun still shines over me
But she only leaves me hot…
Worked up into a frenzy.
Ready and longing
For your touch.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!

Some “Romantic” Musical Inspiration:
My Funny Valentine“, Chaka Khan
Love’s Taken Over“, Chante Moore

“My ‘Good Afternoon’ Fixation”

I miss you…often
And especially, this afternoon.

Then again
You give me so much to go on
Your absence leaves me craving
Not wanting
The difference is subtle
I want for nothing with you
Your love is perfection embodied.

The afternoon sun warms me
And right now, its brightness is like a reflection
Of your style, your grace, your kindness,
The very essence of you.

I squint at its glare
until my eyes fall upon the larger-than-life shadows…framed so beautifully
By your scent, your lips, your smile
Your rhythms, your movements.

You’re better than good to me
You’re good for me
In spite of me
With me
On me
Oh!
It’s all good!

I bask in the afterglow
Because even when I’m not so good
You bring out the good
In me
Makes me want to be with you
For good…for ever, for always

It’s definitely a …Good Afternoon, my love!

“Comes Love”, as rendered by Dianne Reeves