I sit here grieving you again.
Moments of clarity and rational thought come
But are soon stymied by your unsolicited surprise visits.
Reminders of you abound wherever I go.
The mention of your name,
Reflection on a memory,
Leaves a pit in my chest every single time.
Who are you to figure so prominently in my mind, and
What does your power to do so suggest?
Why have you come back to haunt my thoughts, and
Find new territory in my landscape?
Hours go by and I think not about you…yet
You return, darting in and out of my field of vision,
like a child trying to get away with a forbidden act this one last time.
You skirt the borders of my most empowering moments -
the ones in which I rationalize our breakup, and
perch yourself all poised-like on the ledges of the windows -
the ones through which I thought I could envision life without you.
Refusing to let me let you go,
Unforgiving and relentless in your total pursuit of me.
I am afraid…
Afraid that should I return to you, you will be no good for me.
Afraid that perhaps,
I fell too hard,
Loved too big,
Grew too joyful,
Or worse yet, made myself at home.
The teardrops are many,
Ridiculously heavy, even…
As I try to make peace of our sudden rupture.
They burn,
Leaving stains
In places that I suppose can only be refreshed by time…I suppose.
Wow very strong emotions. You wrote an excellent ballad.
Thank you, Kim. Not once did I consider that this would be read that way. I am flattered. Thank you. Humbled.
Nice!
Thank you!
I’ve been struggling with a break-up from years ago, so I know the sad territory of these emotions. I hope all is well with you and this one is just practice for your poetry skills.
The emotions are universal, I think. All is well on the relationship front, but this one is definitely not for practice. No one has died, but it’s grieving like nothing I’ve experienced before, Ré. It comes at the least expected time. I hope to be able to open up more in a lengthier prose soon. In the meantime, I had to at least wrap my hands around the emotion itself.
I appreciate you.
I almost didn’t leave a comment – but the reason is because there was nothing more to say. There are times when I’ve heard a beautiful ballad performed, and at the end, many seconds go by with no applause. No applause because the audience is still processing what they’ve experienced. Very beautiful
Thanks, Jon. I understand. Really, I do. I appreciate the spirit of your response. I wrote this piece, first on paper, and threw both book and pen down immediately when I finished. I remained quiet for a long while after because the truth of the pain, although acknowledged, didn’t make the pain go away. Nonetheless, there was a power in naming what it was that was troubling me.
I Enjoyed It! Left me seeing different avenues of life.
Thanks Sunshine! Yes, these matters aren’t always of the romantic kind.
Beautiful. The emotions are universal. On the eve of my Beloved Mother’s Earth day, I miss her so…. thank you for helping me feel more.
Greetings, beloved! Though Universal, we definitely must give ourselves permission to “feel”, as you say. Knowing that the emotions are universal does not inoculate us from the stinging reality or pain of their encounters. I’m glad that this particular piece resonated with you on a personal level. What greater honor to your Mother is there than for you to live in the authenticity of your truth!
How relateable those stains are…Nice cadence and I picture a soft beat of jazz playing in the dimness of light and the words ringing like a sad melody into the hearts of the audience.
Thanks Totsymae! Tell me you didn’t place me at Open Mic at a juke joint.
Yes, you are there.
Thoughtful and honest, SomerEmpress. I found you through Subhan Zein’s “great fellow Bloggers” list. I hope that with his help I can enjoy and share new blogs with others. I will follow you and hope you will check out my blog.
Hello! I’m delighted that you found me! Thank you for the “follow”. I will most certainly hop on over and check out your work.
Be Well!
SomerEmpress
Thanks!
Words can not begin to express how close I felt to this. It’s like you were speaking for me. Thanks for sharing.
I’m so glad this resonated in a personal way for you, Tanisha, albeit on a more somber note. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment.
Thank you for commenting on my blog “If I could Touch You. Your thoughts were thoughtful and gentle-so many people make hurtful remarks when they don’t know what to say about loss. It is nice to hear from someone whose thoughts don’t cut like a knife in an already overwhelming wound. i enjoy your writing as well-will read some more right now.beebee
You are most welcome. Happy reading.
I love the easy flow of this SE, the lines don’t care whether they’re perfectly symmetrical which to me is what makes them lovely and memorable.
Thanks Amelie! I believe that that lack of symmetry, that “acting up”, is sometimes what makes language so beautiful, lending way to multiple meanings and tone. Thank you.
I found a few minutes of “quiet time” this morning and reflected on one of our many powerful conversations and I realized I hadn’t read your post. I am so glad I waited to read it at the right time because it was like you were speaking to me when I needed to hear your voice. Thanks for sharing your words with all of us. Thank you…thank you and thank you.
Tears.
Tiffany, I’m glad that it felt, or at least sounded, as if I was there. That the words were received in such a way means a lot to me, and makes this piece that much more special to me. Thank YOU.
This poem well resonates my present moment. Thank you very much or sharing. It leaves me with deeper thoughts to see the bright side.
Subhan Zein
Please do! There is always a brighter side. Trust, and be attentive. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
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Empress,
Very powerful piece. Been there, run from that. It’s a curse sometimes being a water sign I tell ya! That said, it is a part of the human condition. Thank God for…grace and time.
Peace,
C.
Yes, grace and time, even for the non-romantic breakups.
somerempress your poem eerily reflects the human condition i’d like to deny i’m experiencing now in order to keep walking through it. would so love to comment objectively but when the heart is in tears it commands SILENCE of the mind and objectivity can go abegging.
That’s quite objective, actually. The emotions were very raw and unfiltered when I wrote this, so I respect the space in which you need to experience your own emotions. The awareness helps, surprisingly. Thanks for commenting.